Last year, I was finishing the final edit of my book and began to doubt some of what I had written about my childhood in The Truth.  That's normal, I think, to have doubts about the accuracy of your memories, especially when you're about to launch them for the rest of the world to read.  I began wishing that I had kept more of my old Witness publications for documentation because I thought my story would sound bitter if I didn't substantiate what I wrote.

I left The Truth 30 years ago and I saved my Bible, Youth Book, and Make Sure of All Things for more than two decades, but I lost them in a "divorce" a few years ago.  It's possible that they might have blown out of the back of my truck when I was moving to a new town, but I'm pretty sure that my ex accidentally ended up with them after we divvied up the belongings in our house.  Of course, I won't actually know if that's true unless I call him to ask, but that isn't going to happen because he is, after all, my ex.  We don't talk.

But I really wanted some proof for my book, so I did a quick internet search and found Randy Watters and the Freeminds site.  I sent an email to Randy asking for help, and he had the old books I was looking for.  I thank him for that.

In my search, I also discovered other groups of people who spent their lives buried in The Truth.  Many of the organizations had a social focus, and I gotta tell you that I am 45 years old and it has never occurred to me that I might want to hang out with a bunch of folks who escaped from The Witnesses. It just seems likely that they are still swimming in emotional drama about Armageddon and the last days.  That doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but I found a ton of ex-Witness groups, some of which were for gays and lesbians.  No kidding.  I don't know why it had never occurred to me that there might be a need for such social groups, but there are several internet sites devoted to homosexuals who have left The Truth or are fighting the urge to do so.  One group was A Common Bond with a local chapter not far from me, so I sent them an email and they subsequently invited me to lunch at Firewood in San Francisco.

I was eager to meet these gay folks and listen to their stories, imagining them to be similar to mine.  I figured we'd have one big bitch session over pizza and everyone would talk about how neurotic life was in The Truth and we'd all congratulate each other for finally seeing the light and geting out of a totally whacked religion, but it didn't turn out that way.  First of all, only one person ordered pizza for lunch, and secondly, there was no bitterness on anyone's menu.   Lunch did not turn into a long bitch session.  It was just one of those really nice and comfortable gatherings where people get together and talk about work and vacations and boyfriends who don't understand the JW mentality but are willing to overlook that legacy when it occasionally interrupts life today.  It was a really nice lunch with perfectly normal people who have a perfectly normal life, now that they have left The Truth.

I enjoyed their stories.  I liked hearing about where they came from.  I liked thinking about their past and speculating on how the Truth colors their thoughts today, as it does mine. It made me feel a little closer to normal, and I was surprised that no one felt a need to whine about their previous misguided attempts at claiming ownership of the true religion.  They joked about The Truth, but no one seemed pissed off.

One of the conversations I particularly enjoyed was with two guys who gave their lives to Bethel and left with hardly a dime in their pockets.  I wanted to know how they were able to escape from The Truth and not be pissed at a group who did nothing to prepare them for a life on the outside.  Why weren't they pissed?  I would be.  I don't think I am bitter today about my childhood in The Truth, but if I was caught in the position of leaving Bethel as an adult and trying to build a new career and figure out how to pay bills at my age, I would be a little pissed at The Truth for failing to prepare me for any future other than Armageddon.

So it turns out that not only does A Common Bond have chapters all over the planet, but they also have an annual conference where people get together to hang out and socialize.  This year's conference is in October, and it will be held in San Francisco.  I plan to attend, and I think it will be fun.  I'll chat with a bunch of gay people who once spent their lives as I did, dreaming about the New Order and pet lions and spending weekends going door to door in service to Jehovah and praying for Him to cure us of our unwanted homosexual sin.  It was a waste of time to send those prayers to heaven, but I'm not bitter about it.  I don't imagine that anyone else will be either when I meet them in October, and if you'd like to come by and say hello, just click on the ACB website for more details.  http://www.gayxjw.org

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