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Hearts would be pretty cool and versatile things if we could believe what is said about them is real.
You can look deep inside them for answers.
They can be bored: "he just doesn't have his heart in it."
They can be made of gold, made of stone, be hard, be soft, be warm, be happy, be sad, be in the right place, be in the wrong place, throb, pound, can be good, be bad, be brave, be chicken, can soar, be stopped, wander, roam, cheat, be honest, be broken, melted, mended, and opened up.
Hearts are implanted deep in our bodies and thus are very personal. No one can judge them. Unless you are the Watchtower Printing Corporation, that is. They say they don't judge people's hearts, but they lie. They do it all the time. If someone doesn't go along with the Watchtower Corporation's huge lists of rules and regulations, they are judged as "not having the right heart condition."
Always agreeing with the Watchtower Printing Corporation, no matter what stupid things they say = "right heart condition."
Merely questioning anything they say = "wrong heart condition."
Now, it is one thing to use the heart as a metaphor. Poets, musicians and writers have been doing that since the dawn of humanity. But people have also been superstitious since the dawn of humanity.
A metaphor is one thing, but it's quite another thing to use the heart as the literal "seat of all human emotions."
Some of you may remember that District Assembly we had in the early 1970's which devoted a big part of an evening to discussing the human heart as an organ of our deepest emotions, an organ RESPONSIBLE for our emotions. Literally. This assembly even had "visual aids!" Really, REALLY goofy visual aids! I seriously mean "goofy" as in "it was so goofy it wouldn't even be good enough for an Elementary School science fair, unless the kid wanted to be laughed right out of school."
At that Assembly was this big, red heart on stage which lit up when it "talked!" This means some guy was out-of-sight and flicking light switches on and off! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And this heart talked to this big brain and told the brain what to do! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
We were supposed to leave that assembly armed with new information from Jehovah that we could use to help interested persons see that clearly, Jehovah was revealing secrets to his earthly representatives about the human heart which was critical to know for us to gain salvation.
If only a WT representative would have interviewed an average heart like I did, they would have never embarrassed themselves like that. Now, I know it is not an easy thing to find a heart that would consent to an interview, but after some effort I was able to find one and am forthwith presenting my interview here in full.
If the WT couldn't find a heart interviewee, they could at least have gone to ANY doctor and asked a few simple questions before they put up that ridiculous flashing heart in all of their District Assemblies that year. But, they didn't do that. Perhaps it's because they have a long history of not trusting Doctors.
So. Here is my interview with a heart, who for privacy reasons, asked that he not be identified by name:
Me: "Good morning, Mr. Heart" Heart:
Me: "What is your main job as a heart?" Heart: "I beat."
Me: "You mean you beat so you can pump blood?" Heart: "I don't know why I beat. I just beat."
Me: "What else do you do?" Heart: "Nuthin'."
Me: "What do you know about emotions?" Heart: "Nuthin'."
Me: "Don't you ever get happy or angry?" Heart: "I just beat."
Me: "Well, you beat faster when your body is scared or in love, don't you?" Heart: "I work for the brain. He says beat faster, I beat faster. Don't know why. Just follow orders."
Me: "Doesn't anything bother you?" Heart: "Smoking."
Me: "Doesn't smoking make you angry?" Heart: "I work harder then. Makes me tired. Don't know what 'angry' means."
Me: "Is there anything else you can tell me about yourself?" Heart:
So that was it. There was definitely no "smoking gun" in that interview that could help the Watchtower's spirit-directed claim about emotional hearts.
A few years later the Watchtower Printing Corporation had an article that tersely stated the heart's main function was to beat.
They should have taken the time to do an interview like I did. It would have saved them from looking like idiots.
I know, I know. I was "running ahead of Jehovah" by doing that interview, but dang it! Sometimes "Jehovah" just runs so SLOWLY."
Farkel
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