I was baptized as a Witness in October 1954 at age 14. I severed connections with non-Witness friends and relatives, except for my father who never joined the religion, and had a great social life with people in the congregation and with young men from Brooklyn headquarters who often visited our home in Long Island. I was having the time of my young life.

Happy Faces

To be a teenage Witness girl living 30 miles from Bethel was the most exciting time of my life. Often, young, single men from headquarters visited the Hempstead Congregation. Inasmuch as there were eight or more teenage girls in our congregation, many times after the Sunday meetings, we’d get together at someone’s house to have fun. My parents’ home had a finished basement and frequently we’d come home from the meeting with a bunch of young people and dance. At times, four or more young men from Bethel would spend a weekend at our house, sleeping on the basement floor on cushions, couches and whatever else we could use to make beds.

I learned how to ballroom dance from a young mother who had been a dancing instructor before she was married. She was the first Bible study I conducted and she became a Witness.  These were grand times when she was teaching us all to dance.

There were memorable parties on Saturday evenings at other homes too where Witness kids danced until midnight. Pairing-off was not unusual along with some “necking,” which my new “mature” Christian self did not approve of, but there was no drinking of alcoholic beverages.  Many of the Witness girls who were raised in the religion were not really as excited as I was about being a Witness, so they would break some of the rules, unlike I who did everything by the book, or, in other words, obeyed all the rules as found in Watch Tower literature.

Most of the young men who visited us from headquarters in Brooklyn were far from their own families and lonely for home. I now realize, being young, single, and faithful to the religion, they must have had normal raging hormones, but for the most part, were gentlemen because they believed they had the true religion and felt bound to set an example to not “bring reproach upon Jehovah’s organization.” If any were living double-lives at that age, I was not aware of it. I was mature for my years and most of the young men thought I was 20 when I was just sixteen. Many of them quite naturally were seeking a mate, especially a girl who was an ardent Witness, so I had three marriage proposals by the time I was sixteen.

In the summer of 1956, I “vacation pioneered” for two months in “unassigned territory” (places where Jehovah’s Witnesses seldom engaged in their house-to-house witnessing), in two small towns near Zanesville, Ohio, with a young missionary named Mary Ruth Alexander. She had attended Gilead, the Watch Tower’s missionary school, and she was assigned to our congregation in Long Island to wait until her legal papers cleared to enter India for her missionary assignment. Mary Ruth was a caring and pleasant woman. She made my first-time excursion from an urban area to a farm area interesting and fun.

We rented two rooms from an elderly lady who lived in a big old house on a hill.  In this part of Ohio, during the early 1940s, Jehovah’s Witnesses who came into the area had been tarred and feathered, or worse, because of their refusal to support the war effort and salute the flag. Some of the locals had long memories and threatened us with guns or ordered us off their property because they said we were unpatriotic or Communists. News spread rapidly that two Jehovah's Witness women were staying in the area. Soon, a bigoted neighbor insisted that our landlady get rid of us. To her credit, she stood her ground and did not yield to the demand.

Memorable Landlady Activities

Our landlady could be quite forgetful. One time she ate a large portion of young cooked dandelion greens, which she had picked in a nearby field. Soon after she suffered for days from major intestinal cleansing which miseries we continually heard about during breakfast. About two weeks later she told us she was going to go out with a friend for the first time that summer to pick young dandelion greens and cook them. She didn’t recall having already done that, as well as the distress she went through before, and she was about to go through it all over again. Instead of reminding her, Mary Ruth spoke to our landlady’s friend and, to our relief, she backed out of the dandelion-seeking excursion.

Another time, as Mary Ruth and I were coming down to the kitchen for breakfast, we saw our kind landlady washing her false teeth in the water in the teapot. We stopped and watched in utter amazement as she put the lid on the teapot and turned on the fire under it to brew our morning tea. Needless to say, we never had tea for breakfast again while we stayed at that house. It certainly was a difficult breakfast to get through realizing that previous to that morning, the water for our morning tea had been taken from that same teapot where she washed her teeth.

Being a city girl, my horizons were indeed broadened that summer of “special pioneering” in Ohio as I saw farm life in action driving from farm to farm to talk to people about our religion. Other than meeting some extremely prejudiced townspeople, most of the farm folk were kind and often exchanged their farm-grown food for Watch Tower literature.

We returned from Ohio the summer of 1956 very satisfied and happy. I resumed my ministry work with the Hempstead Congregation. Then, quite unexpectedly in those early years, I came to a crossroads in my life over a Witness teaching because of something I read that almost caused me to say good-bye to the Witnesses.

Zeal was my middle name for my new religion. I even went alone in the door-to-door ministry after school. By the time I was 16, I was conducting Bible studies with five adults. It was during that time when a Catholic woman gave me a booklet published by her church that was critical of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I read the information closely and came very near to leaving the Witness religion because of what it said in the booklet about the Watch Tower’s interpretation of Roman 13:1, 2.

Romans 13:1, 2: "Let every soul be in subjection to the superior authorities, for there is no authority except by God; the existing authorities stand placed in their relative positions by God. Therefore he who opposes the authority has taken a stand against the arrangement of God; those who have taken a stand against it will receive judgment to themselves."

I knew Witnesses taught that the superior authorities were the “Most High God Jehovah and his exalted Son Jesus Christ.” I accepted their interpretation of Romans 13:1, 2 without the slightest doubt because I accepted all their teachings. For a fact, I loved all their teachings probably because they fit what a 16-year old convert wanted to believe about life, the world, wickedness, and a benevolent God who was going to “make all things new.” Inasmuch as I had no real experience with critical reasoning, I took it for granted that everything the Witnesses told me was true. My limited world view up until that time was influenced mainly by my parents and the Watch Tower. Observing how happy I was studying with Jehovah's Witnesses, my parents allowed the religion to completely take over my life.  I don’t blame them. It’s what I wanted and they were satisfied with the results.

In Watch Tower literature, Witness leaders accused other Christian religions of misapplying Romans 13:1, 2 in teaching that the superior authorities or higher powers were rulers or governments to whom Christians paid taxes and whose laws Christians were obligated to follow. I had no idea that the Watch Tower organization previously had also taught that the superior authorities were governmental rulers until I read it in that Catholic booklet. It was in 1929 that the Witnesses changed their interpretation to the superior authorities being Jehovah God and Jesus Christ.

That day, when I read Romans 13:1, 2 directly from the Bible, I could see without a shadow of a doubt that criticism of the Witnesses’ stance in this matter was merited. In other words, the Catholic Church was right. However, after much soul-searching, I decided to stay with the Witnesses and “wait on Jehovah” to change “His people’s” interpretation/ understanding back to the correct one. Well, it would not be until 1962 before Watch Tower leaders would correct this teaching. By that time I would be married, a mother, and the Witness world was deeply ingrained in my way of life. By then, I certainly was well beyond any interest in critical analysis of our theological beliefs. I believed I had the truth about God’s plan for mankind and was determined as ever to share it, not examine it.

Following that summer back in 1956, in the fall after I had vacation pioneered with Mary Ruth in Ohio, my family moved to Miami, Florida.  I did not go back and finish high school as by then I had lost all interest in my  pre-Jehovah's Witness life. I was absolutely sure Armageddon was knocking at the door of a wicked generation, so why did I need to waste my time in school? I already could type, take dictation, and do bookkeeping, so what else did I need as part of my education? So instead I attended a short business school course and then took a part-time job.  This is exactly what many young Witnesses did back then.

Behind Happy Faces

Reflecting back on my days with Jehovah’s Witnesses in Hempstead, Long Island, NY, our congregation servant (presiding overseer) of the Hempstead Congregation was Max Feuerbacher. He was from Oklahoma and had been in Bethel for quite a number of years before he married a Long Island Witness girl named Vickie, who was considerably younger than Max. They had two little boys, Alan and Jimmy. Max was a plumber by trade and went into his own plumbing business after he married. I thought they were the neatest couple around. The Feuerbachers had wonderful parties in their finished basement where we would dance until midnight. My first taste of Alaskan King Crab was at the Feuerbacher home where it was often served at their dinners. Not only were local couples invited but also some single people from the congregation who danced well.

Many times Max would invite the Sunday speaker home for lunch, especially if the man was from Bethel. Most of the time, I would be invited too. As a result I met such notable Witnesses as A. H. Macmillan, a close associate of C. T. Russell, and Giovanni DeCecca, Daniel Sydlik, Maxwell Friend, Fred Franz, Cary Barber, Hugo Riemer—the men who were then, or would eventually become, directors of the Watch Tower religion. In the 1970s, if they were still living, the men on this list became part of Jehovah's Witnesses “Governing Body.” All of these men, who at one time believed they would never see death in this old world but would lead the way into a new earth after Armageddon and then go on to heaven, are deceased.

Unbeknown to me and most of our Witness friends at the time, the Feuerbachers were not as happily married as we were led to believe. I think all New York Witnesses who knew them were totally dumbfounded when Vickie was disfellowshipped for having an affair with a professor at the local college. Max was believed by everyone who knew him to be one of the kindest, most generous, faithful Witness anywhere (although he was rarely seen out in the field ministry). Due to the severity and renown of her sin, Vickie was denied any eligibility to apply for reinstatement back into the organization for a minimum of three years.

Following their divorce, Vickie married the “worldly” man she had a relationship with and eventually he became a Witness and subsequently an elder. This man became the curator of a Long Island museum and they lived in an extraordinarily lovely home provided by the museum which was located on a shoreline of Long Island Sound. When later we were in Bethel, we often took Watch Tower officials out to their home on weekends for rest and relaxation.

What few Witnesses knew about Max was that, like so many others, he was not the person we thought he was. Although providing a beautiful home for his family, there was no food to speak of in the larder. He spent huge amounts of money to entertain and impress Watchtower leaders, but his family actually lived as if they were in poverty. He treated his wife with indifference, often not speaking to her for days on end. I remember him being frequently ill, going to bed for days with headaches, but later I learned that he suffered from severe depression which led to mental illness. Eventually, some years after their divorce, he lived on the streets, and before he died, his sons located him and had him admitted to a nursing home where he lived out the rest of his dismal life. Another pitiful Watch Tower casualty of one who had believed with all faith he would never see death, but would live forever on a new earth.

Reflecting again on when I was young and a new convert to Jehovah’s Witnesses, there were other Witnesses I held in high esteem in Long Island congregations that I would later come to find out were deceitful or worse. Their extreme idiosyncrasies, foibles and sometimes ugly secret sins caused me a great deal of dismay when the truth was discovered. In that I had been thoroughly convinced just a few years earlier that Jehovahs Witnesss were superior to any other religious group on earth, I had excuses ready at hand so I could remain happy with my choice of religion. Nonetheless, the next story I’m going to relate about a man for whom I had high regard when I was fourteen is a real shocker.

The man was a well-known elder (congregation servant) in Long Island in the 1950s. Sometime after my family moved to Miami, he moved his family to Virginia. Years later, when I was in Bethel, one of his daughters told Joe and me that her father lived a double life when he was a Witness. Her mother had divorced him after she found out he was secretly seeing another woman. He also was disfellowshipped and subsequently died some years later. However,  no one knew at that time and until after his death that even as a JW elder, when he was supposedly gone on his frequent business trips, that he was in fact working for the U.S. Government as an agent in counter intelligence. The other woman was his mistress who lived in a home that he kept for government purposes.  The proof of his activities was contained in papers found in a safety deposit box and verified by a government official.

After I exited Jehovah’s Witnesses, I learned many ugly secrets from former JWs who contacted me to tell their story. Yes, there were some wonderful Jehovah's Witnesses whom I was proud to call my friends. But looking back, I can tell you that wrong-doing is not the sole proclivity of “worldly people” that the Witnesses say it is; it happens frequently among all ranks in the Witness organization. Ask any elder! The difference between Jehovah's Witnesses and non-Jehovah's Witnesses is a greater desire on behalf of the Witnesses and their leaders to keep the prevalence of bad conduct a secret from naive believers such as I was so we wouldn’t become disillusioned and leave the religion.

Coming In Part 5: I’ll discuss life in the Witness world as I found it in 1956-58 in Miami, Florida; Reform, Alabama; and once again in Long Island, NY.

<<Part 3 >>Part 5 Coming Soon

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (13)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

...
written by Bjørn Terje , June 04, 2009

I like very much to read you, sister Barbara Anderson. Thank you for all you have done.
A question: Where is part 1 - 3? I would like to read them as well.

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by Claudette Ming , June 05, 2009

I enjoy reading this story as it helps to open my eyes about the Witnesses. I am married to a JW for the past 3 years and he's very devout about adhering to the teachings of the organization. I'm not a JW and I often see him as a hypocrite because of the things he do that I think are contrary not only to his religious beliefs but to being a good and faithful husband. For example he regularly visits porn sites on his computer, staying up until 3 and 4 in the morning. Once I confronted him about it and pretended that it wasn't so but I'm computer savvy and I tracked the history of his visits and confirmed my suspicions. I'm truly frustrated because I started studying with one of the sisters in the congregation and was thinking of becoming a Witness so that I could improve my realtionship with my husband, but now I don't know waht to do. Advice anyone?

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by FREEMINDS WEB TEAM , June 06, 2009

Claudette - you may find a wider response to your question on one of the Jehovah's Witness discussion forums such as www.jehovahs-witness.net or www.jehovahswitnessrecovery.com

Please note Freeminds is not endorsing these websites as alternatives to professional therapy where required.

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by Justin , June 08, 2009

Claudette,

It is not unheard of for Witnesses to be engaged in secret sin. Pornography viewing is a major problem within the Organization, even something that affects elders in the congregation. This is often kept secret due to fear of exposure.

As this affects your marraige this obviously something you need to talk to your husband about. You could of course bring this evidence before his elders, but he would have to deal with embarrasing situation of having to describe his activities to the elders, and maybe even be disfellowshipped! Your husband potentially has a problem that he needs help with and sadly the elders are ill equipped to render such help.

I know that Jesus has liberated many from such an addiction but as a Jehovah's Witnesses your husband would be reluctant to accept help from Christ.

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by Robert Benbrook , June 09, 2009

Well Barbara, I have enjoyed reading your account. Sounds like there have been some bad people you have known in your life. I guess we have all known some. Surprisingly, since I have been one of Jehovah's witnesses since 1942, I have known few witnesses that were devious, cruel, abusers of women, children, animals, liars, adulterous, homosexual, (my own son was homosexual, but no others of his age group in our area were) or other horrible examples of christianity. My personal experience is that through the years the Jehovah's witnesses I have associated with have been decent people who have been good friends to me. All of us want to live in a world that is most often described as a paradise, people are moral. That is they will follow the rules of conduct as set out in the bible. Most of us try to live like that even now, but of course we all fail in one way or another. Some do a great deal of wrong, which you and others write about. I think you tell the truth and no doubt many others do to in their stories. You know that there are many stories of Jehovah's withesses that are positive and that show good character. These must be quite boring and probably would not be very good reading, but still they are out there. I wish we all had the answers to all of the tough questions about the future. God's time tables, the resurrection of our parents and friends, everlasting life, why, if God is going to change things, hasn't he done it by now. But we don't, do we? So we read the Bible and try to solve the mysteries. It tells us many wonderful things and when we read them we want to believe them. So to me our obligation is to try to understand and then tell others what we believe and why. If anyone does not see things the way Jehovah's witnesses do they should be free to choose what they think is right.

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by Sweet girl , June 21, 2009

Hi,

It is so sad ..that as you mentioned that you met "bad witnesses" however, let me remind you that we are all sinners and Jehovah God is the only great Judge that will ask us to respond to our actions regardless of what religion we are or what we do. We can fool ourselves but not him. "Leaving the religion" like you mention, we are not hurting God on any way; we are hurting ourselves and the only thing left to say is that Jesus gave his life for us and in order for us to have the privilege and hope to live everlasting...because what most important thing there is but to try our best to keep a close relationship with God and his son Jesus. I wish you the best

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +1

...
written by ben , June 23, 2009

hi guyz i am a jehovah witness i am 14 years old , ive been brought up wiht it all my life, i do find it difficult sometimes with freinds at school, but us humans arnt perfect even jehovah witnesses like me can make mistakes but.. jehovah god is a forgiving being and as long as you repent for something you may feel is wrong you are forgiven, at the end of the day you cant point a finger without 3 pointing back at you.. people make mistakes and humans wont be responsible for the final judgement jehovah god will. let me tell you this, theres people dieng all over the world that have never heard of jehovah, dont you think people like that deserve a second chance? or is this life just a waste of time. Even if youre not a jehovah witness, wat have u got to look forward too? sure we may have rules like no sex before marriage and some of my freinds bring it up like its a bad thing. i explain to them not only is it good can stop stds spreading. Jehovah sees through youre heart and that all that matters.

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by Richard Fegidero , June 25, 2009

Remember the men of fame in times of Moses. They were annihilated by Jehovah. It means that even the distinctive men inside the congregation can be stumbled by their own wrong deeds. So, even in the armaggedon, thousand of unfaithful servants of Jehovah will be perished if they have not been correcting their secret bad deeds. Why not to enhance your relationship with Jehovah like Daniel, Isaiah and so many faithful servants of Jehovah who were living in times of waning of good things. Think about it!

Some of Secrets in Keeping on Faiths:

1. Pray fervently
2. Read the Bible everyday and meditate (Do not miss it)
3. Associate with the lovers of fine works, who apply the bible principles (None of these are outside the JW organization)

Philippines

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +1

...
written by jane , August 17, 2009

Richard and Ben,if the jdubs knew you were on this sight you'd be disfellowshipped,your looking outside the organization,according to your own theology what your doing is apostacy.Im an ex jdub, while being one I was beaten,chased with a gun, raped, molested for 7 yrs all by so called faithful men in the jdubs,if all that is love keep it for yourselves.I am not interested,I use to tell myself all this would be taken care of in due time,all that happened in 50 yr span, no one did anything about it.So keep it to your self. think about that

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by Barbara , September 02, 2009

Barbara,

I'm writing a dissertation on Jehovah's Witness leadership and there response to crisis.

Is there a way that I could speak to you over the phone or work out and interview?

Please Advise --- Cary

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by THE WATCHMAN , September 08, 2009

I Admire your work Sister barbara, I'm one of JW and i'm seriously thinking about everything and at this point I question everything,altough I have to admit that i'm a bit scared because this "TRUTH" is all I have known and as head of my household this also involves my wife and daughter
Pleas e-mail me @ \n This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it '> This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by Kim Friend , September 27, 2009

Dearest Barbara, thank the lord you have seen the light.i have a story i married a man whose mother sister family believe in the truth ugggg.i was raised in a smalltown christian church.well hes decided to be a follower iam now preparing to leave him after 10 years of marriage hes sooo naive and cant believe i married such an idiot.In 1997 we took care of his 103 year oldgreatgrandma who i think was alive in 1879 ha very jehovah witness oh well i ignored it.on her death bed she says i dont know nomore than the man on the moon i kept asking what does that mean nothin they said.well few weeks ago over and over i asked God please help me an one night as i hide while they have a study in my house i asked again and he answered i dont know nomore than the man on the moon.thankyou my Lord now i know why she was saying it for me but not til now did it come to pass premonition you could say.feel sorry for my husband but iam going to live this life for i know theres a heaven many signs of it in my lifetime.iam not loosing family he is but hes got them control freaks so b it.iam reading your book.Great read .Bless you now live.Kim Friend leaving no email as he will catch me.call if you like 6412263244.

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +0

...
written by zan , October 02, 2009

Robert wrote:

"Surprisingly, since I have been one of Jehovah's witnesses since 1942, I have known few witnesses that were devious, cruel, abusers of women, children, animals, liars, adulterous, homosexual, (my own son was homosexual, but no others of his age group in our area were) or other horrible examples of christianity."

By just looking at what you said... well there's a good example of how narrow minded JW's are. Being a homosexual is a horrible example of christianity??

I grew up as a JW. My father was, still is, an Elder. I quit school to become a pioneer at the age of 16.
I am now 26 and my eyes have been open for the past 5 years.
I can tell you, there's a lot of things happening behind closed doors among the JW's. For example, the man who converted my parents has been convicted for sexual assault on many young JW women.
I became severely depressed and once I left the cult I began feeling so much better. There's a world out here!!
My sister just attempted suicide. But we all know what happens if she decides to leave the cult. Just like me, she'll lose her parents, her friends, her husband and children.
I wish I could open her eyes but I can't. I'm not allowed to speak! They have taken my voice.. and they say that is what God has decided them to do? How can a loving and caring God tear families apart??

Barbara, it encourages me to read your posts. Thank you!

report abuse

vote down

vote up

Votes: +1